Communication is not Forwarding Messages

Psychology taught me that communication is not only about what we want to say.

It is not simply about forwarding a message from one person to another. It is also about how the message is received, interpreted, and understood by the other person.

The same words can be understood differently depending on someone’s emotional state, experiences, beliefs, and the context in which the conversation takes place.

That is why, when communicating with my parents, I learned that knowing what to say is only one part of the process. I also need to consider when to say it, how to say it, and whether they are in a position to hear it.

Sometimes, the message does not need to change. The way I deliver it does. Sometimes, I need to explain. Sometimes, I need to listen first. Sometimes, I need to choose a better time. And sometimes, I need to accept that being understood does not always happen in one conversation.

Because communication is not successful simply because I have said what I wanted to say. It becomes meaningful when we are able to create enough space for both people to understand and be understood.

—Atika Meilani.